


When Day Turns to Night I Will Find You

by ai_laik_trash



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Angst, Clexa, Don't worry I got you Kru, Established Clexa, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Happy Ending, The real ending, cannon clexa, fuck you jroth, in my opinion anyway, sad but happy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-23
Updated: 2016-05-23
Packaged: 2018-06-10 05:39:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6942064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ai_laik_trash/pseuds/ai_laik_trash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When day turns to night, I remember that you're gone. I remember that I can no longer see your bright emerald eyes shine in the sun. I remember that I can no longer feel your breath soft against the back of my neck. That your arms will no longer encircle my waist and hold me close, whispering sweet nothings into my ear. </p>
<p>or</p>
<p>How I think the finale should have ended because fuck that finale it was bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	When Day Turns to Night I Will Find You

**Author's Note:**

> Hey Clexakru or anyone else reading this. I wanted to put my own spin on The 100 finale because... well that fucking sucked to be honest. Not that we all didn't know that. Anyway, I tweaked a few things and don't worry about the plot line because I just had to get my feelings out. I was a sobbing mess watching the finale because of Lexa, but weren't we all? Starts out angsty but ends happy so don't worry. FYI I cried before, during, and after writing this so... that may just be me being emotional over Lexa but who knows. Also Jroth mentioned something about two endings, one was the one we saw and I think the other was for if the show wasn't picked back up. I like to think the latter went something like this.
> 
> Reshop Heda, and happy reading to the rest.

When day turns to night, I remember that you're gone. I remember that I can no longer see your bright emerald eyes shine in the sun. I remember that I can no longer feel your breath soft against the back of my neck. That your arms will no longer encircle my waist and hold me close, whispering sweet nothings into my ear.

           

My tears fall and there is nobody to wipe them away.

 

            In my dreams, I can feel your skin soft and supple under my touch. I can smell the sweet pine in your chestnut hair from riding in the forest. The feel of your smile against my lips makes my heart skip a beat as I relive over and over and over how you were so gentle with me. I relive the tears tracking your cheeks after our lips met for the first time in over three months. I relive your gentle hands pulling at me to come closer after you fell over the edge of your release.

 

            I always figured you were a cuddler.

 

            Any trace of _Heda_ was gone in this moment, leaving only Lexa. Sweet, gentle and even timid Lexa. So different from the ridged, dark, and harsh commander. My heart was racing as your hand tracked a soft trail down my torso down to the apex of my thighs where I pleaded for you to let me fall over the edge as well. You whispered encouragements to me. I can't even count on both hands how many times your heat filled voice whispered "You're _so_ beautiful Clarke."

 

            When I wake into a harsh reality, I don't even have the benefit of rolling to the side of the bed where you slept so peacefully to bury my face into your pillow. Instead, I'm surrounded by forest the color of your eyes and familiar yet unfamiliar faces.  I know they wonder, I know they have questions but I ignore it all and instead remove the Flame from its safe spot next to my heart. I remember that it's the only part of you I have left in this world.

 

_                                  _                                  _                                  _                                  _

 

            When Luna refuses the Flame I no longer know what to do. When Luna insults your abilities I want to shout at her, I want to scream and yell "No! Lexa was good! She was good and she was full of hope and she died too soon!"

            When Ontari falls unconscious I lose more hope. When Ontari doesn't wake up I'm completely hopeless but I know what I need to do. And with this a part of me hope's I see you there.

            "The Flame will protect me." _Lexa will protect me_.

            I'm disappointed when I enter the City of Light and you aren't immediately there. I swear I hear the ghost of your voice in the wind.

 

            "Claaaarke."

 

            So I follow it, it has to be you. I should be focusing on the task at hand but my heart is beating wildly in my chest, threatening to tear its way out and run to find you. It's easy to follow as nobody here can see me. Until they finally do.  I run, it's the only thing I can do. I run in the direction of your voice but I can feel the Flame burning inside my body. Ontari's blood is running out and I'm running out of time to find you. When they catch me I know I'm done for. The stairs are hard on my back as I try to dodge their kicks and punches but they always catch me.

            Then suddenly they're gone.

 

            I'm trying to focus my eyes on a dancing shadow, a dark angel that came to my rescue. I knew you would be here but surprise still overtakes me and a soft "Lexa" escapes my lips. My heart has stopped and I swear I must be dead by the way you look back at me and smirk. Always so cocky. I'm not surprised when you take down seven people in six seconds flat. I watch your every move though and even now I fall in a trance at the way your body twists and turns. When your sword sinks deep into the last man, I want to run to you but the pain through my body doesn't allow me to get up.

            The only thing I can do is weakly and desperately reach for you. You sprint to me, taking two steps at a time before your delicate hand slides into mine and you pull me up. I can only stare, my hand tentatively reaching to your face. I need to know that you are real. That you’re here with me like how it was always supposed to be.

            Your lips turn up into a relieved smile and a sighed "oh my god" escapes me as we pull each other forward into a hug. We press into each other until there is no space left. I hold you so tightly, trying to meld us together so I never have to leave you ever again. My knuckles turn white with the force of my hold and I can feel my bottom lip quivering in longing to kiss you.

 

            You pull away too soon and we have to keep going because "Our fight is not over Clarke."

 

            Even as my pain reaches its maximum, I can't stop staring at you. I take every second to memorize your face because I took the last time for granted. I memorize the look of determination in your eyes and match it with the determination in your posture to protect me. I memorize the feel of your arm wrapped around my waist and I want to turn to you and say "fuck it" but I know I can't. I know you won't let me. When the pain becomes too much I have to stop, to take a moment to get myself together and when you sit beside me I can't help but say "I thought I'd never see you again."

 

            You smile at me again and damn you for making my heart go wild like this.

 

            "I told you my spirit would choose wisely Clarke." I want to laugh, to tell you that now is not the time to make cute jokes about your spirit and how it chose me. I also want to tell you that my spirit chooses you, too. And it will forever, in every universe at any time but there is no time and now it's night. ALIE knows I'm here and you're urging me to go on, to save my people. To save myself. But I can't go on, my vision goes black and I can only think "no! I need more time to memorize her entire being!"

            I dream of you again. I can see you sitting on your throne, you're teaching the _Natblidas_ about peace instead of suffering. You're telling them the story of the sky and the ground and how together they finally became one acting force. I can see the years on your face, the title of Heda pressing on you even in peace. But even on Heda, laugh and smile lines were visible were Wanheda managed to pull down the walls of the commander. I can see you glancing up at me every now and then, a small yet visible smile touching your lips.

            This time I awake to a soft palm caressing my face and a gentle whisper of "come back to me Clarke." I meet your emerald eyes instead of the forest and I still can't believe you're here. When I sit up my head spins, but not as much as when my lips fall onto yours. The kiss was only seconds, much to short from what I imagined our reunion to be like. Even in those seconds though I knew the truth. Arkadia was never my home, it was a metal box. The Dropship was not my home, it was my prison. Not the forest or Camp Jaha or any place could compare to you.

 

Lexa.

 Lexa was my home.

 

            After that kiss everything was a blur. We were running again, we had no more time. I remember Jasper and his hurtful words, I remember you punching the living daylights out of him when Raven stepped in to help me get to the kill switch. Jaha and his mob of brainless followers were coming towards us.

            "We can't let them follow. Go, I'll hold them off." You turned away from me, already leaving again. My heart turned cold at the thought of never seeing you again and I couldn't help but grab your arm and pull you back.

            "No! Lexa... I love you." The words felt like a release, a weight gone from me but at the same time weighing me down. My heart tingled in anticipation of hearing you say those three little words back. Telling me what you wanted to a lifetime ago.

            And despite the charging group, despite the last few minutes before the end, despite everything... you grinned like a fool in love. I guess we both were. But the grin was bitter sweet, your eyes shone with tears as you captured my face in your hands and leaned forward placing three kisses on me.

 

One on my forehead, "I-"

 

One on the tip of my nose, "Love-"

 

One on my lips, "You."

 

And then you were gone.

            My heart clenched so painfully and tightly in my chest as I watched you race towards the approaching mob. You unsheathed your swords and with a fierce battle cry that struck straight through my body, you were submerged. I tore my body away from the scene and almost fell through the hatch into a replica of what used to be The Ark. This wasn't over yet and as I came face to face with ALIE I knew a decision was going to have to be made. I was there though, the kill switch in sight and nobody to stop me. That means Lexa had held off the mob, that means maybe she was still alive. Maybe.

            I hoped that Raven was still paying attention to what was being said. If she was, then she knew what my choice was when ALIE said, "If you destroy the City of Light Clarke, you will destroy yourself."

            "What do you mean?"

            "Once you pull that kill switch everything in the City of Light will be fried. That includes ALIE 2.0 which still resides in your body. If you pull that switch your brain will shut down with it."

            "So you're giving me the ultimatum of keeping myself alive and giving my people the chip or saving my people and in turn ending my own life?"

            "That's exactly what I'm saying."

            Myself or my people. I was here for my people, to save them. That was my whole purpose of being here. I couldn't make the decision of my people staying here though, they would never agree. So I know what I had to do.

            "Clarke." My head snapped up to meet green. My heart stuttered alive once again in my chest as you hurried towards me. "Clarke you cannot end your life. You're too young."

            "But I can't be selfish and bring my people here Lexa, they would never stand for it. Victory stands on the back of sacrifice, remember?" You looked at the ground and then back up at me in silent acknowledgment of my leadership.

            "You would have done the same, wouldn't you?" I ask tentatively.

            "It would be different for me. You have so many people who care for you Clarke."           

I was silent, I thought of my mom. I thought of how heartbroken she would be. But we were running out of time and I really didn't have a choice so I turned to you.

            "Where will we go after this?" I asked. Despite the heat of the situation, your lips twitched in an attempt to hide a smile.

            "Who knows." I put my hand on the lever and you put her hand over mine. I looked to you as we started to pull the lever back.     

            "What if I don't find you again?" I worried aloud. You shook your head.

            "I _will_ find you Clarke, no matter what." The lever was pushed down fully and I didn't turn away from your gaze for one second, savoring this moment even if it was heartbreaking.

 

_I love you mom._

The power from in the room shut down and now only the light from the stars illuminated us.

 

_I love you dad._

 

I could start to feel a buzzing in my brain.

 

"I love you Lexa."

 

_I'm sorry._

 

"Ai hod yu in Klark."

 

And just as I did for Lexa in her last moments, she did the for me. My world turned black with the taste of her on my lips.

 

_                                  _                                  _                                  _                                  _

 

            My first moment on Earth the sun blinded me, just as it did so now as I tried to open my eyes and sit up. A force held me down.

            "Don't, you hit your head, just sit still Elyza." Elyza? Right, I'm Elyza in this life, not Clarke. But her memories were still fresh on my mind and I couldn't help but wonder what happened to my mom. What happened to Raven and Octavia and Bellamy?

            My head was throbbing but it was perched on something soft. I could feel the surface rocking like I was on a boat and when I opened my eyes... I am on a boat. Nothing but blue and blue and more blue and then-

 

Green.

 

Green eyes and a soft nose and pink delicate lips and a smile brighter than the stars.

 

            My heart was running rampant, I ached to reach out and touch her, to see if, once again, she's real. So I do. Just as in the City of Light I gently run my fingers over her smooth face. She is devoid of war paint and leather and swords but... she's here. Her skin is warm to the touch, she's alive. I'm alive.

           

            "Lexa..." I finally breathe out. Her smile becomes impossibly larger and she shakes her head.

           

            "I told you I'd find you, no matter what Clarke."

**Author's Note:**

> Still pissed that we witnessed our favorite character die twice. As if the first time wasn't a mess. This is my first and probably only Clexa fic because I feel like I could never do them justice like other authors. Stay Strong Kru.
> 
> Feel free to come cry with me on Tumblr at:  
> ai-laik-trash.tumblr.com


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